e23 News Archive: April 2008

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April 30, 2008: Oh, Those Wacky Drow

Always scheming and back-stabbing and worshiping spiders . . . will they ever learn?

We certainly hope not. Those caves would get pretty darn boring elsewise. And we wouldn't have games like Web of Tears. It's a game of cards, counters, conniving, and ctabbing people in the back. (Sorry, got carried away.) Because if the dark elf penchant for being complete jerks to one another lends itself well to one thing, it's games.

Well, that, and political allegory. But let's not mess up a perfectly good evening for two to six players.

-- Fox Barrett

April 29, 2008: A Magical Mystery Tour. With Chips.

e23 has brought Bad Baby Productions in to its digital fold, and with them comes a big honkin' slab o' gaming goodness. Welcome, Bad Baby, to the most illuminated PDF store this side of Homeline, and welcome, customers, to a veritable windfall of PDFery. Starting with Arcanum.

Arcanum is the board game that eats like a meal. You're a mage, fresh out of Torching Things 101 and looking to make a name for yourself. You and other magely types roam from map tile to map tile, righting wrongs, questing quests, and occasionally melting each other's eyeballs in a frantic and impressive display of eldritch fireworks.

And, ooo, it's got chips! Yum.

-- Fox Barrett

April 28, 2008: Playing Hook-y

As a matter of course, roleplaying tends to attract a creative lot. After all, it's not much fun to run a game along the lines of "you enter a room, and there's a thing there. I looks like . . . a . . . thing. You should probably take it somewhere. Or not. Whatever."

Still, even the best of us could use a kick in the adventure-constructing pants now and again. And that's what the Seeds line is for. The latest addition, Seeds: Western II, is more of a spur to the adventure-constructing horse than a pants-kick, but the idea is the same.

Somebody's meeting with a swift foot, is all I'm tryin' to say. But . . . in a good way.

-- Fox Barrett

April 27, 2008: Possibly Misleading

Nevermore is a near little fantasy setting with a lot of equally neat little books. I'm here to speak with you (insofar as this medium can be considered "speech" anyway, but just play along) about only two, however.

Lands of Nevermore: The Hedge is the definitive True 20 to topiary. Lands of Nevermore: The Dreadlands is about the home realm of the fluffy teddy bear people who dance and sing all day long.

That's what the nice little man living in my garden told me, anyway. And if you can't trust tiny magical people, who can you trust?

-- Fox Barrett

April 26, 2008: Looks Like Jonah Got Off Easy

When a whale kicks the (very, very large) bucket, it drops to the bottom of the ocean. Since there's lots of water in the way, it doesn't "drop" in the same sense that "Johnny dropped the ball." Unless Johnny dropped the ball and the ball slowly drifted through the air, steadily decaying as it fell, until it hit the ground as a gooey mass.

Sometimes, the ball (or, wait, weren't we talking about whales?) gets undeadified by the murky horrors of the deep. And that's the premise of A Magical Society Aggressive Ecology: The Undead Leviathan . A very big, very evil, very smelly hunk of seafood.

What, a corpsified fish ain't scary enough for ya? What if I mentioned that all it does all day is float around. Oh, and kill things. Lots of things. Everythings. Oh, and it's got something called "distended grappling guts." So. Yeah. Ew. This ain't no chicken of the sea.

-- Fox Barrett

April 25, 2008: And, Yes, It Has Blue People

GURPS Classic: Celtic Myth is a reference teeming with information about the land that gave us druids, sidhe, and big bearded fellows flipping out and killing everyone. Okay, not everyone, but let's just say that I wouldn't call these people tree huggers. Unless the person in question is actually hugging a tree at that moment in time.

Fae can be weird like that, after all.

Anyway, Celtic Myth is the one-stop Celt-shop of roleplaying. Unless all you need for your campaign is a book about the migratory habits of penguins (which, honestly, I wouldn't put it past some GURPS authors to write), put down that sandwich and pick up your mouse. The Emerald Isle awaits!

-- Fox Barrett

April 24, 2008: 1d6 Shooter

The Old West: a time when men were more substantial, women were particularly woman-like, and feats . . .

Uh. Well, they didn't have feats yet. In fact, you were probably more likely to strike gold than to find an icosahedron. But that's okay. It's not like we're here to roleplay roleplaying. We're here to roleplay being cowpokes and outlaws and all that "were real men" junk.

So if you're looking to slide down the timeline, dice bag in hand, have a look at some recent additions to the site from Louis Porter, Jr. Design. Handy little references like Wild West Feats 1 and 2. Or for something a little more Civil, there's Prototype: Buffalo Soldier.

And, honestly, what old west game would be complete without Horses of the West? None, says I!

April 23, 2008: Fair Folk Fare

So ya wanna know about faeries. You know what you need? A book. One about faeries.

As fate would have it, we have a book. About faeries. Called Faeries.

So convenient!

-- Fox Barrett

April 22, 2008: Trees. Do Not Hug.

Trees are dangerous. Or they can be. Or . . . um, I mean, I'm working from assumption here. Look, I dunno. I stay inside all day. I look outside, I see them standing around in little . . . gangs or whatever and I decide that, frankly, I'm just safer in here.

Why risk it?

Adventurers, though - now there's a rick-taking bunch. They don't mind things like insects. Or poisonous vegetation. Or sunlight. They take the sort of stuff found in Into the Green, rub it all over themselves, and shout scary primal-scream thingies from the tops of hills. For those types, this book. Me? I, uh . . . I'll just stay here. And type up these news bits. And remain clean.

-- Fox Barrett

April 21, 2008: "Your Whole Arm's Off!"

(NOTICE: We've just discovered that our e-mail server appears to be acting up. Our IT staff are working on the problem now, but it is likely that the confirmations for any orders placed after Saturday morning have not arrived.

We are very sorry for this inconvenience! If you have any questions at all, please call us directly at 1-800-FNORD23 (1-866-366-7323) - The Management)

No, it isn't. But it would be if the DM had first read Torn Asunder: Critical Hits.

Crits are more than just an extra d6 or two to roll. They're pancreases being skewered, femurs being snapped, lungs exploding, hearts spontaneously combusting, heads shooting through the air like so many streamers on New Year's Eve . . . they're hits. And they're critical.

They deserve more than a simple "x2" notation. This book provides. It also has rules about healing or some-such gobbilty gook. But who cares? You're here to get rules covering what happens when someone's torso becomes a pincushion for ogres. As you should be.

-- Fox Barrett

April 20, 2008: Cavernous Expanses: Not Just For the Fighter's Head Anymore

Eventually, your heroes are gonna go down. (Underground, I mean. Whether or not they end up down on the floor is between them and their armor class.) It might be a good idea to take along a guide or reference of some sort.

Does a rock formation like that indicate dragons or kobolds? Are these mushrooms fatally poisonous or do they simply cause swelling? The halfling just passed out and is turning orange, should we be worried?

Like it or not, if you're swinging a +1 battle-axe, spelunking is in your future. Do yourself a favor and take Into the Black with you when you go. And, of course, take a torch or something, too. Unless you want to transcribe the whole thing into braille.

-- Fox Barrett

April 19, 2008: Ignorance Is Bliss. Also, You'll Live Longer That Way.

Things Man Was Not Meant to Know. Let's look at that phrase, shall we? "Things." Okay, that's easy to parse. We all know what "things" are. Everything is a thing. Easy. "Man." That's us. Still following it. "Was Not Meant to Know." Now, the key to this little bit is the "Not" part. "Not." It's the big Mr. Yuck sticker on the side of the bottle marked "The Deal With the Cosmos." It should be obvious, then, that we're simply not supposed to know what "The Deal" is.

. . . so why is it every time an opportunity comes along to open up that poison bottle and start chugging, some adventurer gets in it in his head that he's somehow different or she's somehow more worthy and off comes the cap? Before you can say "call the ethereal poison control center," the idiot has split open the space-time continuum and let through some kind of mind-shattering, world devouring terror that will haunt us all until the end of our days. Anything that doesn't immediately drive the adventurer insane will start munching on the hapless fool, whereupon it shall quickly do the same to everyone else.

I bring this up in a desperate plea to adventurers to leave well enough alone for once in your sword-swinging lives.

You won't of course, which is why I'd like to point out Lore of the Gods to the GMs out there. Purchase, enjoy, and make them understand why the book (or the altar, or the map, or whatever) said "Seriously, don't mess with this stuff."

-- Fox Barrett

April 18, 2008: McCoy 5:23

In the beginning, there was Lame. And GURPS didst create Cool, and it didst separate the the Lame from the Cool. And lo, it saw that it was awesome and knew that it was awesome. And in the Cool, GURPS didst bring forth In Nomine, that the creatures living in the Cool might have something to do. And GURPS didst spake unto the gamers "Lo, I have brought unto you my In Nomine, for it is Awesome, and you shall play it and rejoice." And the gamers didst give praise.

But when all the copies were sold, the gamers hearts didst fill with trouble and they didst know sorrow and unawesomeness. And they didst cry out unto GURPS "We have no more In Nomine! Wouldst Thou, in Thy infinite mercy, see fit to grant upon us earthly gamers more of Thy celestial goodies?"

And GURPS didst reply, "Lo! I shall bring upon thee my greatest blessing. I shall bestow the realm of Cool with GURPS Classic: In Nomine. And for all time shall it be available to those that seek its Awesome blessing, and never shall it be unavailable for it doth transcend physical being."

And it was good.

-- Fox Barrett

April 17, 2008: Big Honkin' Robots

Everything's better with 'em. Even fantasy. In fact, I dare say: especially fantasy. Indeed, few things need colossal humanoid fighting machines quite as desperately as those things which lack said bipedal engines of destruction.

Of course, there's a good reason fantasy typically lacks robots. That whole "we didn't have an industrial revolution" thing. Hard to build a 30-feet juggernaut when you still think the fulcrum is a pretty keen idea.

Solution? Doom Striders. Take all that fancy-pancy magi-mojo that the elves and those old bearded guys with the silly hats seem so keen on and point it at the problem. Bingo, bango, one walking Herald of End Times made manifest.

-- Fox Barrett

April 16, 2008: So, How Long Can You Hold Your Breath?

You've gone into castles. You've gone into caves. Dungeon-diving is, generally speaking, a downward-oriented experience. But what about underwater dungeon-diving? (Which, um, would just be diving-diving, I guess.)

So there's a book, Into the Blue, and it's decided that enough is enough with all these terra firma quests. It beckons you (A siren allusion? You be the judge.) to get your feet wet in the magical world of crustaceans, algae, and fish the size of elephants that eat men whole and can swim at upwards of 50 knots and shoot magic death-beams out of their eyes and have mithril for skin.

I mean, uh . . . underwater elves. Yeah. That's it.

-- Fox Barrett

April 15, 2008: Spells: Now With Magic!

Yes, folks, that's right. For a limited time* only, you too can get free magic with the purchase of spells! The Magic & Spells deal comes packaged in a beautiful portable document file and utilizes a space-age technology called "the written word."

Yes, magic, the natural companion to spells, now forms a potent one-two punch of arcane savings! Like a shampoo and conditioner, only with impressive, sparkley, explodey bits.

So act now! A glorious future wherein spell and magic are united in holy matrimony await!

*and by "limited time" I mean "before the sun cools." Hey, I work in advertising, what do you expect?

-- Fox Barrett

April 14, 2008: Guilds (Or, Why You're Letting These People Skim 10% Off The Top)

I don't get guilds. I'm just gonna put that one on the table. Don't get 'em. My loot is my own. It is shiny and I like it and I'm the one who got his hands on it. Bureaucracy needn't enter into it.

Guildcraft is of the opposing position. It's quite insistent that I do need guilds. It says, "Here I am, a whole dang sourcebook about the things." It purports to be a helpful tome with nothing but good things to say about how keen it is to be One of Us.

Right now we're just sort of eyeing one another from across the room. Will we ever find a middle ground, some sort of guildly compromise? Who can say. And for that matter, who cares? You're here to buy books! Why am I even telling you all this? I should just be saying that the book is great and your life is an incomplete and hollow existence without it. Which, incidentally, it is. So let's just pretend that's what I told you instead of this bizarre rambling about me, guilds, and the inner turmoil that haunts my every waking moment.

-- Fox Barrett

April 13, 2008: Because Good Is Dumb

Darkwalkers: The Evil Within has a very simple premise: be evil. Aw, c'mon, it's fun! Being evil simplifies everything. Some examples:

"You see a pompous moron who has to be reasoned with before you leave." "I stab him."

"You find a well armed but poorly trained group of people with a bunch of cool stuff they should be wielding, but are instead simply guarding." "I stab them, take the stuff."

"The child says, 'Please, sir, may I have more?'" "I stab him, take his stuff, and eat the rest of the soup."

See? Quite a refreshing change to just use violence to solve all your problems, isn't it?

. . . oh, wait . . .

-- Fox Barrett

April 12, 2008: Second Verse . . . Actually, It's Substantially Different Than The First

And, really, I should have gone for some kind of three-based joke, as it's more Book 3 than Book 2, depending on your point of view. Oh well. "Humor" is out of the way, let's get to the product.

GURPS Classic: Compendium II has taken its Game Mastery Throne next to Comp I's Seat of Player Power and the Basic Set's Big Chair of Somewhere In-Betweenness.

That . . . doesn't actually make any sense, but believe me when I say that GURPS Third Edition is now both large and in charge here in the land of twenty three e's. Only thing missing now is some players. We'll let you know just as soon as we figure out how to turn them into PDFs.

-- Fox Barrett

April 11, 2008: Scum. Villiany. You Know The Deal.

The Undercity, a nasty little burg found in The Dungeon Under the Mountain: Level 8, isn't exactly what one would call a "tourist mecca." I wouldn't even call it a "vacation destination." Really, it's more of a "complete dump." All manner of icky ickery is waiting to chomp on your mind, rip out your squishy bits, or use your soul as a coaster for its Limited Edition Novelty Coffee Mug of the Damned. Or all three. And that's on a good day.

So bring swords. Big ones, with lots of plusses and names that include "of."

-- Fox Barrett

April 10, 2008: A Book Best Read Cold

You loved the Star. you've enjoyed the Shroud. Now it's time to bring this trilogy to its star-less, shroud-empty conclusion!

Alone, or as the finale of a series, 1 on 1 Adventures #10: Vengeance of Olindor promises to deliver a very singular experience. Unless, of course, you adapt it to a party-sized group. In which case you should probably strip "1 on 1" out of the title. It's more of a . . . "6 on 1" adventure.

Which doesn't seem like very good odds for the poor GM. Unless he takes the Improved Player Wrangling feat, I suppose.

-- Fox Barrett

April 9, 2008: Just Deserts

Heh heh heh. I'm so clever.

Ahem, any-dang-way. The setting for Advanced Adventures #4: Prison of Meneptah is a little on the dusty side. And by "a little," I mean "it's a big honkin' desert." But, strangely, the desert is not deserted. For within this obnoxiously unpleasant realm are a number of things waiting to kill you.

Therein lies the adventure bit.

See, you kill them before they kill you. "Why?" I'm not sure I understand the question. Um . . . I think there's a cabal or something? Heck, I dunno, I was too busy putting my sword through things to really pay attention. Sorry.

-- Fox Barrett

April 8, 2008: Hark! The Herald Agents Shoot

'Tis the season to take two-fisted justice to the criminal masterminds that would see the holiday season undone. Grinch-like villains that make Scrooge look cheerful and easy-going by comparison. When they conspire to to destroy life, liberty, and the gift-giving way, there's only one way to talk them down. Let your fists do the talking.

In Spirit of the Season, you are Nick Saint, A.K.A. Secret Santa. You, your league of Reindeer Men (and women!), and your stalwart Chanukah compatriots are the pulpy purveyors of yuletide justice to a Christmas under fire.

And that is just so freaking awesome that I need to sit down for a moment. You go on ahead, for truly this is a book that speaks for itself.

-- Fox Barrett

April 7, 2008: It's Not Cruel, It's . . .

It's, um . . . a guarantee. Yeah, see, you wouldn't want that very bad man to recover from his wound. What if you missed the heart or something? He might stagger off, heal up, and end up standing over you, laughing manically, one hand on the lever to winch that's slowly lowering you into a pool of acid. I don't care how high your horse is in that little scenario, buster. Acid beats moral high ground.

So toss that "honorable combat" malarkey out the big metaphorical window and put Pale Designs: A Poisoner's Handbook to good use. There's no harm in being sure, and this book has enough different lethal chemical concoctions to kill anything this side of the elemental planes possessing a central nervous system. (That is, creatures with their own central nervous systems. You're on your own with those in possession of someone else's.)

And besides. That guy would have done the same thing if he'd just thought of it first. Or had seen you coming. Or even knew that someone wanted to kill him. Look, trust me, don't dwell, just stab him with the poisoned dagger and run.

-- Fox Barrett

April 6, 2008: Airship. It's A Ship; It Goes Through The Air.

Sometimes, flowery prose isn't needed. Sometimes, a simple, declarative statement is all that is required. A too-the-point, direct, uncluttered, and uncomplicated communication, unladen by vague wording or unnecessary literary cruft.

Something not at all like what I just did there.

Airships. It's a book about airships. And, for all our sakes, I should probably just leave it at that.

-- Fox Barrett

April 5, 2008: The Strategic Removal Of Unwanted Hostile Forces From A Specific Area Is My Business

And business is good. If a bit . . . byzantine.

Mercenary Air Squadron World War II: Mediterranean Theater of Operations is a prop-powered, tailgunner-filled, history-inspired expansion for Mercenary Air Squadron. It also has quite a long title. We could call it "MASWWIIMToO," sure, but then it looks like you're trying to summon an Elder Beastie of Divine Alien Wrath.

In fact, if you figure out how to pronounce that correctly, you probably will summon something, even if it's just a friend or loved-one coming in to see if you're choking to death. Best just use the full name, then, eh?

-- Fox Barrett

April 4, 2008: Someone

GURPS Classic: Compendium I. Someone around here decided it would make a neat PDF. Someone around here is probably right. Someone around here is also hoping that you'll be enticed by my confusing ramblings and click that link up there. Furthermore, someone hopes you'll add the PDF to our cart and continue through to the completion of an order that contains the PDF.

Someone thinks fans of GURPS Third Edition will greatly appreciated the expanded options found within this book: options intended to help you build that perfect character. Someone knows it is a popular and sometimes even necessary companion to the GURPS Basic Set, and that some fans have been calling for its release to PDF. Someone thinks that even in this day and age of edition values greater than 3, there's still room for Ye Olde School.

Someone has also probably stretched his joke a little thin. Someone's gonna stop, now.

-- Fox Barrett

April 3, 2008: So, Roman Numerals . . .

They seem to work well enough for Romans. And I suppose if it's good enough for Rome, it's good enough for the gander. Romder. Whatever. I just tend to get confused with 'em is all. It's like: "Is that a letter or do they mean ten, or am I simply being messed with by the literary world at large? They are conspiring against me, after all."

Er, right, why you should care . . .

Ah, here it is. Paper Miniatures: Fantasy Heroes III. See there? Check it out, there's a little "III" at the end. Now, that either means "3" or "the vowels are starting another uprising." Such differences are subtle and, in my life, very important. I don't think the walls are yet repaired enough to withstand another uprising.

-- Fox Barrett

April 2, 2008: Oh, For Art's Sake . . .

We recently received a big batch of Clipart Critters from the sketchy guys at Postmortem Studios (Hah-hah, get it? "Sketchy," as in "drawings" and "sketches," because . . . because it's art, and . . . yes, I'm very ashamed). So if your game needs some pretty pictures to go with those pretty words but you don't want to hire an artist, consider your prayers answerified.

-- Fox Barrett

April 1, 2008: Big

Strange that such a small word so aptly conveys the idea of something massive. Three little letters. But that's what outer space is. Big. Quite big, in fact. Overwhelmingly big, perhaps?

Should your intrepid band of space-faring player characters find themselves destinationless, I'd recommend throwing 100 Planets into the mix. Like space, the book is quite big. And, like space, it's full of planets. But the best part? Truly, the greatest thing about this fine digital omnibus?

Even if your players somehow manage to visit ninety-nine planets . . . there's still another planet left in the book. Like I said. Big.

-- Fox Barrett

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