e23 News Archive: May 2008

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May 31, 2008: Making A Good Thing Great

Big sharp axes are pretty cool. Big sharp axes that glow are even cooler.

Being able to make any big sharp axe glow is Awesome.

GURPS Power-Ups 1: Imbuements. Make things glow.

-- Fox Barrett

May 30, 2008: Plates! Plates From The Sky!

Oh. They're only saucer-shaped. That's not so bad. Aaaah! But they're shooting lasers!

It's Earth Vs. the Flying Saucers, Mini-Game #52, a no-holds-barred one-on-one grudge match between the good people of Earth and some people from space that are really cheesed off. It's only over when one species is flat on its face and the other stands triumphantly atop our little blue-green spheroid.

-- Fox Barrett

May 29, 2008: AKA "Splat: The Game"

I don't know much about asteroids. I don't know much about racing. I do know that racing through a bunch of asteroids is probably not the brightest idea a space-faring people can pull from the Idea Hat. But, then, nobody ever said that possession of a spaceship was indicative of intelligence.

And besides. It keeps life from getting boring.

Asteroid Racers, Mini-Game #60 is the name of the game. Get your chip, get across the finish line, try to do both in one piece. Or don't. I'm sure your friend wouldn't mind seeing you turn into goulash against the side of a giant rock.

-- Fox Barrett

May 28, 2008: Third Dimensions Sold Seperately

Orcs! And just the way we like 'em: flat as a pancake. In fact, I dare say their flatness does exceed even that of the mundane pancake. They are flat in the way the things that a pancake aspires to emulate are flat.

And yet, they stand tall.

Which, as it happens, makes knocking them over quite satisfying. Where am I going with this? To Cardboard Heroes: Fantasy Set 2 - Brigands, Orcs, and Goblins. Please. Partake. Enjoy. I insist.

-- Fox Barrett

May 27, 2008: Paper Or Plastic?

Wish your minis were a little more on the biodegradable side? Then how about some minis that are eminently biodegradable! After all, your heroes already have one foot in the grave. No reason your minis can't be the same way.

There's a whole slew of new Disposable Heroes awaiting you here in our electron warehouse. Print 'em up, throw 'em away, repeat. All without emptying your pocket book or dumping those distressingly resilient plastics into the trash heap.

Yes, I just tried to play the eco-friendly angle to sell you some PDFs. Turns out I am completely shameless. You'll still buy the PDFs, though, right?

-- Fox Barrett

May 26, 2008: Toy Boat, Toa Butt, Twa Bwyt

I can never do that one . . .

0one's Blueprints: The Galley isn't precisely a toy, and it's certainly not a boat, but it takes elements from both and becomes something more than the sum of its parts.

Or something. Look, it's a map of a boat. I'm certain you'll find a good use for it.

-- Fox Barrett

May 25, 2008: Where Do I Get This Stuff?

Dragon Lords: the dawn of a new era.

Dragon Lords: the new name of "adventure."

Dragon Lords: nothing will ever be the same again.

Dragon Lords. Catch it.

-- Fox Barrett

May 24, 2008: Somethin' For Nothin'

Matter can be neither created nor destroyed? "Nuts to that," says I! Look at Conjurer, Mini-Game #16. It's all about taking TINSTAAFL and hurling it out a window. Get outta here, you! Physics is now ours to bend and twist as we see fit!

Never let science get in the way of beating people up with magic critters you poof out of the nothingness.

-- Fox Barrett

May 23, 2008: Ghosts And Vampires And Werewolves!

Oh my.

GURPS Classic: Cabal has channeled its fell magicks and diabolical powers towards materializing on the digital plane and now skulks about the Information Superhighway. Oh, wait - it's right over there. And only $12.95 stands between you and its succulent dark fruits.

They're quite tasty, really. They teem with a vile and secretive flavor typically savored only by Those What Wear Robes Adorned in Unhuman Blasphemies. So you know it's good.

-- Fox Barrett

May 22, 2008: Best (Display Of Ancient Fury) In Show

Oh, give me a home where buffalo roam, and are eaten by prize-winning dragon. Dragon Ranchers, Mini-Game #62 fulfills every rancher's dream of raising a fire-breathing lizard from a tiny egg to a towering pile of scales and death. And subsequently pointing that mountain of teeth at another one of its kind and saying "kill!"

Like cock fighting, only really big.

And, uh . . . fiery. So, y'know, don't wear any loose fitting clothing.

-- Fox Barrett

May 21, 2008: Tiny Robots Are Fun, Too

Giant robots. Think they're so hot. Think they're so great. Think they're so big. Wait, they are that last one. But, you get what I mean. Giant robots! Fah! Tiny robots have their place, too, y'know.

Tiny bots, like the ones in Junkyard Wars, aren't the second class robozens that you might think. They're helpful and they're convenient and they're fun to be around and . . .

Okay, you got me. Small bots are cute. There. I said it, I'd say it again if I had to.

-- Fox Barrett

May 20, 2008: Wicked Little Crittas

Old McDonald had a farm. And on this farm he had some pigs. And horses. Maybe a goat or two. What he also had was a rampaging horde of orcs hellbent on consuming the pigs, horses, goats, and other assorted wildlife.

Luckily, he also had himself a few o' them hero-like persons.

The GM, unfortunately, didn't have any pig minis. Or horse minis, or . . . et cetera. So when One-Tooth the Mighty grabs Ol' Bess and uses the bovine as a shield, he didn't have a way to represent this unfortunate turn of events on the gaming table. Until now. Disposable Heroes: Critters Statix 1 (In the Wilds) and Critters Statix 2 (Farm & Domestic) is your ticket to Old MacDonald having a battlefield.

-- Fox Barrett

May 19, 2008: Giant Robots And The Tiny People Who Love Them

Since the dawn of time, very big robots have existed for achieve a singular end: beat up other very big robots. They're really quite good at it, too. Sure, it's just about the only they're good at, but it's not like they need anything else. We should all be so lucky as to not only know our purpose in life but to also be quite adept at executing our birth-function.

But we're not, and we don't, so we pretend to be giant robots with games like Robot Jocks. And thus are our lives made complete.

Or close enough, anyway.

-- Fox Barrett

May 18, 2008: ERPS!

Eldritch Role-Playing System. Now that's a silly name. Shorten it down and it becomes "ERPS." Who names their roleplaying game something that abbreviates to such an odd and rude-sounding thing?

. . . What? What's everyone staring at?

-- Fox Barrett

May 17, 2008: You Need A Hero

Alright, already! We've heard your cries! We know you need someone tough, strong, fresh for the fight. We have answered the call.

Starting with Fantasy Set 1 - Player Characters, those miniature paper people you and I know as Cardboard Heroes are here. Yes, we're bringing these oft-requested little guys into the digital age and you, Friend Consumer, shall reap the benefits.

So go on. Click that link. Reap the heck out of this.

-- Fox Barrett

May 16, 2008: And In This Corner

Beating people up. It's humankind's favorite pastime. Get two people, get a good Crazy on, and push them at one another.

Arena is a fantasy take on this brutalicious activity. Though not as fantastical as Arena Magica. That one has magic stuff! But that doesn't mean it's any better or worse than regular Arena. In fact, do yourself a favor: just mush the two together.

Peanut butter and chocolate, baby, I promise.

-- Fox Barrett

May 15, 2008: Good, Evil, And A Place To Hash It Out

Stupid evil, stay down! Alright, fine, if you really want to do this again. But let's make this epic struggle between the Forces of Light and the Fell Beasts of Darkness quick, huh? We do have laundry to wash, y'know.

Bad guys will be bad guys. They're gonna stomp around breaking your stuff, so you may as well meet them on the field of battle. (Unless you really don't like your stuff.) Realms pits good against evil, letting one player thwart another's terrible advance of malevolent forces.

Uh, unless the bad guy player wins. Then, um . . . I guess all bets are off! Good going, Good Guys.

-- Fox Barrett

May 14, 2008: It Came From The Hamster Wheel!

Run! Flee! Depart this location with great haste! It's, it's . . . aiyeeee! A hamster!

Okay, so we've got this game called The Hamster That Ate The World, Mini-Game #7. It's a wargame wherein one is either a giant hamster stomping about town or the pitiful human army sent to stop him from doing that.

Yes, really. I'd tell you more about it, but, man, I've gotta go play this one right now. It's just too darn weird not to.

-- Fox Barrett

May 13, 2008: Shiny . . .

Crystalmancer is the card game of mighty wizards and the terrible magics their pet rocks produce. Well, maybe not exactly, but you know how wizards are. Accrue power, accrue power, accrue power, blow something up, giggle about it, and then start all over again.

And that's more or less what the game is.

Which . . . really, I mean, how much more do you honestly need in life, am I right?

-- Fox Barrett

May 12, 2008: Come On, Baby, Light My Fire

Dragons! They pretty much do two things: sleep on piles of gold (comfy!) and set fire to people. As I'm certain you are not a dragon (not that I can see you, but we do have a surveillance team on site), I can surmise that you do not sleep on piles of gold (aw!) and that you are regularly set on fire.

Ouch.

You need Dragon Wars, Mini-Game #3. It will turn the tables on the crummy hand fate has dealt you. Or, at the very least, it'll let you simulate what it would be like to be on the scaly end of the food chain. And hey, this is a PDF! If your components get burned up next time a dragon lights you on fire, you can just print more!

-- Fox Barrett

May 11, 2008: Armor, Battling, And The Face

Battle Armor is about shooting one another in the face. It says so right there in the name. "Battle." Also, "Armor," but that's more ambiguous. That could mean, like, "Peace Armor" or something. But "Battle?" No sir, no wiggle room there. You don't have "Battle Peace." You have "Battle Battle." Maybe "Battle Fight" or "Battle Scuffle."

Shooting. In the face. While wearing armor. Sounds like the perfect game to me!

-- Fox Barrett

May 10, 2008: Fly Me To The Moon

And step on it!

Getting from point A to point B is sometimes more than just a means to an end. Sometimes, it itself is the end. Like, say, if you were a freighter captain with with a big list of people wanting to book passage. Who are they? Where are they going? Who cares! The important question is "how much are they paying."

Well, that, and "what the heck will I fly them there in?" And that brings us to GURPS Spaceships 2: Traders, Liners, and Transports (he said, concluding his shoddy and hastily-constructed lead-in). This companion volume to (surprise!) GURPS Spaceships presents you with all sorts of tin cans to stuff with people and cargo.

We've got yachts, shuttles, couriers, and . . . some ships we're fairly certain are space worthy. I mean . . . you made your passengers sign a waiver, right?

-- Fox Barrett

May 9, 2008: What You Need And What I Need

Do you need handful of high-resolution images of evil-looking bad guy people? What am I saying; of course you do! I'm such an idiot! Stupid, stupid, stupid! I shall go put my head in a combine.

Oh, but first: Pozas Art Pack Fantasy vol. 8 - Foes has those pictures you wanted. Enjoy!

-- Fox Barrett

May 8, 2008: Yes, We Have No Website

If you're reading this, you've managed to sneak onto the website. Aren't you just a lil' net ninja!

Both e23 and Warehouse 23 are due for some maintenance (something about hammers and monkeys and some guy with a pipe named Bob; I'm not really up on the specifics). Since our IT department doesn't want to be electrocuted while they work, we've decided it would be best to unplug the magic box that lets you access this site. We expect to be down all day, but should be back in the game again by Friday.

And we'll be armed with a whole mess of shiny new fnords!

-- Fox Barrett

May 7, 2008: And For That Matter, Where Are The Bathrooms?

Stab the orc, take the loot, stab the kobold, take the loot, stab the dragon, run away grabbing as much loot as you can, and return to town. Sell. Sell. Sell. After you've stimulated the ever-loving heck out of the local economy, repeat.

Wait. "Economy?" Wossat? Hmmm. According to A Magical Medieval Society: Western Europe, Second Edition, it's really important. In fact, there's all kinds of useful stuff in here. Information on town defenses, how vassalage works, medieval demographics, costs and labor involved in building all kinds of junk, and - ooooo! - war!

See? Who says realism and historical accuracy has to be boring?

-- Fox Barrett

May 6, 2008: And Just A Dash Of Graveyard . . .

Graveyard Dash, Mini-Game #1 is a game about the walking dead and the running alive.

. . . Y'know, reading that, you wouldn't think there'd be much a competition there. Unless they suddenly become the "sprinting dead" or, heck, even just the "jogging dead," they don't exactly pose a threat to someone at a dead run. But . . . there ya go.

Oh, hey, I just noticed I made a pun. Heh, neat! Anyway - game's got zombies, games got people who are not (yet) zombies, all that's missing is you. Make us and Bad Baby happy and go amend that.

-- Fox Barrett

Notice: The Warehouse 23 and e23 websites and stores will be closed this Thursday, May 8th for site maintenance. The stores will reopen on Friday, May 9th. If you need to contact customer service for those stores on Thursday, please do so by email, orders@sjgames.com or by phone, (866) 366-7323.

May 5, 2008: Who's The BOS?

Gaming is all about three things: location, location, location. (Also stabbing.) If you don't know where you are, it's a safe bet you don't know what you're doing. You won't be able to figure out where you were, you certainly won't be able to figure out where you're going - really, it'll just be one big mess.

But fret not, for you and your evil-stabbing cohorts are not without salvation. NBOS Software has joined the e23 cyberfamily and brought with it a dowry of map-building wonder. If you need to define the borders of the mighty kingdom of Heroland or sketch out a quick 10 by 10 orc dwelling, Fractal Mapper 8 is on the scene and ready to go. We've even got Symbol Pack 1: Campaign World if you find yourself short the 275 tiles that would make your map just perfect.

Terrestrial topography not really your style? Need something more cosmic? Count ye out NBOS not, good sir! (Wait . . . does that even work? Whatever, I'm not gonna diagram it.) AstroSynthesis 2 makes sure you never get lost in space, as mapping the stars is its raison d'être.

Yes, these programs are so awesome, they got me to say "raison d'être." Consider that a moment, and then proceed quickly to the order page.

-- Fox Barrett

May 4, 2008: Any Sufficently Advanced Technology . . .

When you're facing down a dragon, you really don't care how it gets dead. Your only concern is that the dragon gets dead and that it does so with the utmost haste. If this accomplished via a fireball spell or via a drawn Draco-Kill-A-Matic 7000 doesn't matter.

So why give Magic all the work? Why not let your ol' Technology take a crack at your fantasy problems? The solution to this uneven situation can be found inside the pages of Steamworks. Therein shall you find all manner of gadgetry and gizmos to best even the most resilient of dungeons. And hey, it's even got a deluxe version that contains all the same information in wonderfully hyperlinked HTML.

So download it today and enjoy it on the computer of your choice. Which, I guess, is one advantage technology does have over magic. Good luck getting this book on a palantír.

-- Fox Barrett

May 3, 2008: Precis Intermedia Sale!

Enter the World of Thrilling Pulp Action! The Dangers and Excitement of Magic, Martial Arts, Hypnotism, Gadgets, and Two-Fisted Duels await . . . now for only $9.95 in PDF format - Save 33% Order Now!

Two-Fisted Tales is the definitive roleplaying game of pulp action. This edition not only brings new material, layout, and true pulp artwork, it also includes a new introduction to the pulps, optimized organization, and enhanced rules explanations. Inspired by the pulp fiction of the 20s, 30s, and 40s, Two-Fisted Tales lets you create your own heroic icons with access to martial arts, gadgets, hypnosis, magic and other schticks, while also empowering the gamemaster with tools to create exciting adventures, thrilling plot twists, and diabolical villains.

Add Exciting Victoriental Adventures to Iron Gauntlets . . . now for only $4.95 in PDF format - Save 50% Order Now!

Steampunk Musha includes two new forms of magic for Iron Gauntlets, as well as new character races, gimmicks, backgrounds, and vocations. Characters can even portray Clockwork Ronin, the demon-like Jinteki-Oni, Shangti Cowboys, and even masters over the elemental katas. Setting-specific creatures, weapons, and armor augment those from the Iron Gauntlets rulebook, and the various cities of Rosuto-Shima are described. A sample adventure is even provided to get you started. Plus enjoy art from Rick Hershey and Empty Room Studios.

May 2, 2008: Decisions, Decisions, Decisions . . .

Why have one Earth when you have can infinite Earths?

Why indeed. GURPS Classic: Alternate Earths has six alternative Earths for your world-hopping world hoppers to hop through. See what could be had the War of Northern Aggression failed! See a Great Depression-less world transformed by the genius of Tesla! See Romans and lots of 'em!

Dimensional travel: because variety is the spice of life!

. . . unless you're on Beige-3.

May 1, 2008: Friends Will Be Friends

Unless they're enemies. In which case, friends will be the guys trying to kill you.

In Mystic Adventures, they are trying to do that very thing. Ideally, you'll be in the superior position and will in fact, do the killin' rather than receive it. You get that way by getting your hands on more XP than your "friends." That, itself, is usually accomplished via killin' stuff.

Really, there's just this whole killin' stuff motif going on. But hey, so long as you're still upright when the game is over, what does it matter, right?

-- Fox Barrett

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