e23 News Archive: August 2008

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August 31, 2008: I Am The Night (Also, A New Book)

Between doing marketing work here at SJ Games and prowling the streets for criminals at night to fulfill a vow to my dead parents, I don't have a lot of time to sit down and read up on the latest and greatest RPGs. I really like to have the essentials of a system broken down and presented to me in an easy-to-read format. That way I can get the core of the game while I'm perched on a rooftop awaiting some crime boss whose face I'm scheduled to punch in. Or while I'm writing news pieces like this.

That's why I whole-heartedly recommend the Eldritch Quick Start Rules. All fun, no fuss. And, not content to simply include the rules, there's also a handful of pregens and an adventure awaiting you inside its pages. But the best part of all? It's completely free.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm Batman. I mean - I really like this book, and you will too. Plus, it's free. What have you got to lose?

-- Fox Barrett

August 30, 2008: Not Quite Free, Free, Free.

But close enough.

So a few days ago I mentioned that Creative Mountain Games has a nice block of free stuff for you to download and enjoy. The rest of their stuff is a litte more on the "give us monies" side of things. But, for this weekend, not much more. At the moment, all things Creative Mountain are half off!

Should you be excited? Of course you should! I'm excited, and that ought to be good enough for anyone.

-- Fox Barrett

August 29, 2008: All Star, All The Time

Back in 2004 we rounded up nine of the best and brightest GURPS authors and pushed them into the Chimera-Tron-O-Matic 4000. What resulted was a nine-headed writerbeast we have lovingly come to know as The Gestalt. At one point this mishapen beast delivered unto us a manuscript. Naturally, we published it. Since, y'know, it was that or be torn apart by its countless tendrils.

GURPS Classic: All-Star Jam 2004 is what happens when The Nine are loosed upon GURPS with only one rule: there are no rules. Ghosts being busted? Check. Eldritch babysitting? Check. "Spartaaaaaa!"? Check. As wonderful as it is weird, this book is bound to have something in it for you. Stastically speaking.

And besides, you wouldn't want to anger The Gestalt by not purchasing a copy of Its book. Seriously. I don't think anyone's fed the thing since we launched Fourth Edition.

-- Fox Barrett

August 28, 2008: The Quick And The . . . Other Quick

Need a character? Like, right now?

The eConic Characters line is designed with just such a dilemma in mind. Fully statted out d20 characters with variants from a level 1 lackey to a level 20 unstoppable juggernaut of pain. All you need do is add some character to this character it's ready to go.

Oh, and you'll probably want to tell your players that they needn't necessarily kill every NPC they meet, lest this happen again.

-- Fox Barrett

August 27, 2008: And I Want, And I Need, Animal.

Our four-legged friends have power, y'know. Ancient, mysterious power that reaches beyond the sight and understanding of us hominids. Or not. Who knows?

Supersitions might. This handy little book looks at the myth and magickery of 48 critters that crawl, creep, and . . . c-fly. Also included with each entry is a spell or two flavored like the animal in question. That is, the spell is related to the animal's traits. The, uh, the duck entry doesn't actually taste like a duck if you eat it. It'll taste like, y'know . . . paper.

Anyway, the point is, this book is a neat collection of folklore that's sure to give you players something to think about the next time they go into someone's house and don't kiss the cat.

-- Fox Barrett

August 26, 2008: Still Rather Desirable

So the fourth edition of D&D is out. Yer not gonna let that stop you from kickin' it old school, are ya? Well, maybe it isn't old old school, but it's older than the current edition. That's good enough for me.

Anyway, what I'm trying to get at here is that the d20 rules presented in the SRD 3.5 Revised (Full) Bundle are no less rulsey now that the Latest and Greatest has been released. I might even go as far as to say that they are more rulsey, since this bundle contains some 16 PDFs. Yes, sixteen volumes of gaming goodness for twenty bucks.

If that doesn't take the wind out of obsolescence's sails, baby, I don't know what will.

-- Fox Barrett

August 25, 2008: Free! Free! Free!

Was that enough "frees"? I'm not sure it was. I'm just gonna throw in another "free" here, and assume you guys get the idea.

Everyone loves free stuff. I certainly do. Unless it's a free punch in the gut, which I simply cannot abide. But, that aside, free stuff is great. Creative Mountain Games must feel the same way, because they sent us a whole mess 'o free stuff to impart upon the good customers of e23. You can see the whole shebang here, but you're welcome to stay here and let me tell you how cool it all is.

It's really cool. That is all. Now go download some yummy free stuff!

-- Fox Barrett

August 24, 2008: Die Without Honor!

You! No, do not run! It is useless! Instead, remain where you are and purchase Ninja Burger: The RPG No Honor Edition. Yes, even honorless dogs can now enjoy the world's greatest roleplaying game. No longer must you be held to the highest ninja standards when you embark on your missions to deliver burgers in 30 minutes or less. Now there is a way for you to haphazardly stumble through your assignment, rampantly breaking the rules and regulations you agreed to when you signed on to the world's greatest fast-food delivery service, and still live!

Did I say "live?" I meant "die spectacularly." It will be the world's greatest death. And do not think differently, because you will die! Because you are without honor! Honorless dog!

. . . but perhaps this is your chance to be the world's greatest honorless dog . . .

-- Fox Barrett

August 23, 2008: That Would Be Telling

Foul and terrible things hide just beneath the flames of the American Revolution. And not I'm talking about the funk one can develop in a powdered wig on a hot July day in Virginia. Though that's pretty scary, too. No, I speak instead of nasty, bitey, monstrous things waiting to drag the unsuspecting and the unwary down to a horrible fate that can only be described as unspeakable.

What kind of things? Well I can't tell you that! They did name the book Colonial Gothic: Secrets, after all.

You'll just have to sneak a peek for yourself and find out. Just, um . . . keep in mind that, while you certainly don't want to go unarmed, a musket isn't the fastest thing in the world to reload. So bring comfortable shoes.

-- Fox Barrett

August 22, 2008: If You Build It . . .

. . . they will slaughter one another in an orgy of blood for your amusement.

Sorry, my fantasies have slipped into my writing again. What were we talking about? Oh, right! S&G Scenario Builder, Mini-Game #69. This handy little guide will, as you might have guessed from the title, guide you through the building of scenarios for Steel & Glory. It's not a stand-alone product, though, so make sure you've already got an S&G-powered game handy.

Like, say, Dept. 13, Armageddon’s Dance, Mini-Game #70, the latest of the S&G releases. How convenient!

-- Fox Barrett

Job Opportunity: We are looking for a new Retail Manager to run Warehouse 23 and e23. If this sounds like an interesting opportunity, please take a look at the full job posting.

August 21, 2008: Wanted

Party of stalwart adventurers between 9th and 11th level with a high pain tolerance for the forced removal of undead occupant from crypt. Applicants provide their own weapons suited to dealing with the slavering legions of the damned. Low self-regard or violent disposition a plus.

So diving headfirst into The Dread Crypt of Srihoz may not be the safest line of work. It'll certainly be exciting! I mean, come on, what else are you going to do in a medieval society? Sure, turnips seem safe enough to farm, but have you seen how often they attract orcs? Turnip farms are lousy with 'em. And since you're but a lowly farmer, the only thing you have to defend yourself with is your pitchfork and overwhelming bodily funk. Exciting? Perhaps. "Suicidal" is the word I'd use, however.

The crypt ain't lookin' so scary now, is it?

-- Fox Barrett

Job Opportunity: We are looking for a new Retail Manager to run Warehouse 23 and e23. If this sounds like an interesting opportunity, please take a look at the full job posting.

August 20, 2008: Adventure Hook. Sorta.

Arion Games was kind enough to slip us three new sets of Paper Miniatures to sell. One's got dinosaurs, another space marines, and the third is a fantasy set designed for Dungeon Bash. Now, that you need to purchase all three sets, that much is obvious, but you may be asking yourself: okay, what do I do when I have them? That's easy.

A team of gritty space marines falls through a wormhole that takes them back to prehistoric earth. There, they fight off dinosaurs while they fix their ship so they can go back through the wormhole. But before they can escape, they get attacked by an evil wizard from another dimension and his bloodthirsty orc hordes. And the only way they can resolve both the orc and dinosaur problems is via a dance contest.

See? Easy.

-- Fox Barrett

Job Opportunity: We are looking for a new Retail Manager to run Warehouse 23 and e23. If this sounds like an interesting opportunity, please take a look at the full job posting.

August 19, 2008: Because Warhorses Are So Passé

Giant robots. I love 'em. They're so . . . giant and roboty. And shiny. And, man, they can blow up everything, which is probably the key to their coolness. So why does science fiction get to hold the monopoly on these guys? Why can't a knight's shining armor be thirty feet tall and sporting an autocannon?

"Why indeed," says Rune Stryders. And then it throws giant robots into the fantasy genre with the careless disregard of someone having a great deal of fun. And really, that's all I think needs to be said. Game really sells itself at that point. Giant magical robots squarshing bad guys? Boom. Sold. So go ahead, dive into that hyperlink and enjoy 325 (!!) pages of undiluted Awesome.

No, no. Not down here. Up there. You've gone too far down the page. Awesomeness awaits you above.

-- Fox Barrett

August 18, 2008: Gnolls: Fun Guys

Little known fact: gnolls throw awesome parties.

I know, right? Seems odd. Consider: how often do you really give gnolls a chance to invite you to their weekly hoedowns? And I mean really give them a chance. No, shouting "huzzah!" before you slice their heads off doesn't count. So you don't know, because it's never come up, because gnoll encounters are often brutish and short.

I invite you, then, to pick up a copy of 0one's Colorprints #8: Gnoll Enclave and see what you've been missing. I mean, check it out, they've got a hyena god temple and a sacrificial alter and - ooo! Slave pens!

-- Fox Barrett

August 17, 2008: I Like Spaceships

I like 'em better, though, when they are either blowing up or are in the process of blowing up some another spaceship. There's a whole "blowing up" motif, y'see, and that's what I'm drawn to. It's that whole juxtaposition of shiny and loud, I think, that holds so much appeal.

So where am I going with this? To Starmada! Not only an awesome name for a heavy metal band ("Ladies and gentlemen . . . we are Starmada!"), this game combines two personal loves of mine: spaceships and up-blowing.

And hey, if you don't like blowing up spaceships, there are even rules for blowing up boats! If, however, you're looking for spaceships without the blowing up bit, well . . . um . . . erm . . . Hey, check it out, those spaceships are blowing up! Cool, huh?

-- Fox Barrett

August 16, 2008: Restless, Ruthless, Diceless

If you're looking for a high-flying adventure through the cosmos with gruff space marines and squidgy alien brain-sucky thingies . . . uh, check back another day.

If, however, you're looking for a game of social maneuvering, interpersonal intrigue, and the best dang nightclub this side of Studio 54, then your search ends here and now with Secrets and Lies. The focus here is more on character and less on getting really big numbers on really tiny polyhedrons. Hobnob your way into high society, broker deals that make or break massive crime syndicates, or just try really hard to get that gorgeous redhead at the end of the bar to notice you. Go on. You're totally huge in the blogosphere. Chicks go for that, right?

Just . . . don't bring up that weekly game you're running about the space marines and the squidgy aliens if you manage to break the ice, okay?

-- Fox Barrett

August 15, 2008: Get Lost

Hey, wait! Where you goin'?

Argh, that's not what I meant. I'm talking about GURPS Infinite Worlds: Lost Worlds, a book you should get. It's a sampling of worlds from the infinite mind of Kenneth Hite. These were worlds we had to leave out of the original GURPS Infinite Worlds because he proved to be a little too infinite for a 240-page book. Now's your chance to further eninfinitify your IW campagin, so get Lost!

Wait, come back! Sheesh, this isn't working at all . . .

-- Fox Barrett

August 14, 2008: On Weird

I'm gonna be straight with you, folks. I have a hard time wrapping my head around World of Nevermore. Part of that is because an avocado could do my job and, frankly, that's the level of hiring they did. But a big part of it is that Nevermore is just so dang weeeeeeird. Not, like, "weird" as in "that's a weird stain." No, more "weird" as in "dude, where the hell did that mountain come from?"

You just walking along - chillin', as it were - nary a hill in sight and then boom. K-2. Weird stuff like that is what I'm talking about. Time doesn't work right, you can get there via dreams, and stuff in the mortal realm changes when it passes into Nevermore.

Weird, is all. Just . . . weird. Which is likely why the book is so darn neat.

-- Fox Barrett

August 13, 2008: Nah, It's Cool, You Go On Ahead

Nope. Nuh-uh. I'm not going in there. I went into the Vile Pit of Horrible Dismemberment. I went into the Salty Caverns of a Thousand Cuts. I even marched into the Fortress of Smelling Like Grandma's House. But this is it, I shan't be tricked again, I will not do this once more.

I'm not going into the The Chasm of the Damned . I don't care how advanced the adventure is. I don't care what's at stake. I don't give two blanks of a blankety-blank how much treasure is down there, I ain't going!

. . . really? That much, huh? Wow . . . Fine, but this is the last time. I mean it. Really. This and then I quit.

-- Fox Barrett

August 12, 2008: Roleplaying: It's For The Birds

And the cats, and the dogs, and rabbits, and the frogs and -

I'll stop there, lest this list find itself to be one Biblical in scope. Within the pages of Familiars one shall find not knights of shining armor nor orcs thirsty for blood. Rather, one might find four paws, a bushy tail, and and a positively cuuuuuuuuute disposition.

It's a kinder, gentler sort of roleplaying game that explores the life of the oft-neglected and ill-remembered wizard's familiar. Good for the kids, great for people just looking for a break between slaughtering hobgoblins. Or who are looking to give the hobgoblins one heck of an advantage on the field of battle.

-- Fox Barrett

August 11, 2008: Dude, This Game Has Everything

Mutants and Death Ray Guns. It has mutants. It has death ray guns. Both, at the same time.

Dude.

Sold.

-- Fox Barrett

August 10, 2008: On Music

When I see something like Song of Blades and Heroes, the melodious ditty that jaunts through my skull isn't an Enya-inspired flute and lute composition. No, the song I hear is decidedly more . . . metal. Y'know a "stab your enemies with your giant axe / ride the magic falcon and feed him snacks" kind of thing. I mean, just look at the guy in the picture. He's going to totally waste that little blue dude with an axe.

Song of Gold and Darkness really only serves to reinforce that mental audio image. Go on. Click through the link. When an orc is screaming at a smiling dwarf, I hear the song of heavy guitar riffs, thunderous drums, and poetically violent lyrics with words like "conquer," "blade," and "blood."

And probably "death to false metal." Anyway, the game is great, we're thrilled to be offering it on the site, and I'm certain you'd enjoy it. You needn't necessarily be a metal head. I just personally find orc killing more exciting at 120 dB.

-- Fox Barrett

August 9, 2008: Free, As In Beer

Not that we'd give away beer here at e23. Quite aside from the legal issues regarding minors and my regrettable lack of a liquor license, we still don't seem to be able to transmit liquids over the Internet. The IT guys assure me it's in the works. Something about "matter to energy to brewskie" conversion.

Anywho. If I might push fermented vegetable matter to the side of the good ship Conversation, the key word here is "free." Free is good, free gets people's attention, and free is downright patriotic for those of us these United States of Whatever. And why should you care? Because "free" is what Precis Intermedia decided to stick in the price field of Two-Fisted Tales Revised: Pulp Villains.

Totally free, totally for Two-Fisted Tales, totally . . . something that would complete this triad. Things just look better in threes. Y'know, maybe it's just the "ee" in words that makes them so appealing. Hmmm . . .

-- Fox Barrett

August 8, 2008: Seriously, Who Lets Me Write This Stuff?

With his trusty companion George M. Dallas, the powerful magus James K. Polk came from relative obscurity to be one of the greatest heroes of the War of Far Too Many Orcs. He was elected President of the League Of Traveling Companions Who Hate Orcs in 1844. He single handedly liberated Texas from the fearful grip of the Psychic Giant Sand Worms. He stopped Badman The Terrible from destroying the capital with his Insidious Clockwork Magibomb. He even reconciled the -

Hang on a second. I'm being told . . . oh . . . I see.

My apologies. That would be GURPS Fantasy Polk, the book detailing the adventures of our 11th president. This is GURPS Classic: Fantasy Folk. It's a book about, like, elves and gnomes and stuff. My bad.

August 7, 2008: Coming So . . . metime

Okay, so we might not be right on the cusp of the release for Secrets & Lies, but it's on the way! You are not, however, without a means to see what this nifty new RPG is all about. Anybody that tells you different lies! (And possibly has a secret.)

The Secrets and Lies Demo is a 17-page sampling of the upcoming PDF. The best part is that it shan't cost you a single one of your hard-earned dimes. No, instead Plumbago Lounge decided to price this one in time, and the book shall cost you only what it takes to read it.

Well, that and the preceding text, now. Sorry. Didn't mean to inflate the price like that. Just think of it as some sort of brain tax.

-- Fox Barrett

August 6, 2008: Possession's Nine-Tenths The Trouble

The noble struggle against the long night is staple of heroic fiction because, well, it's darn fun. You don't have to worry about that perilous minefield that the moral landscape can be. You had stuff, they took it, that makes them Evil, time to go kick their butts.

Your World No Longer casts you as the feeble but stalwart Resistance, struggling to reclaim your lost planet from . . . something. It's not really very picky. Just so long as you're, y'know, struggling, it's happy.

So stand fast, heroes, and always remember: just because there's three of you and about a billion or so of them doesn't mean you're in the wrong. In fact, if they all look the same, it pretty much guarantees you're not.

-- Fox Barrett

August 5, 2008: Twice The Steel, Three Times The Glory

There's steel. There's glory. There's Steel and Glory. But what if you want . . . more? Would you be out of luck? Cast adrift, lost and directionless, without any hope of fulfilling your dream of a bigger, better steel and glory combo?

You would not! Salvation flits down from the clouds in the form of a PDF called S&G Advanced, Mini-Game #67. It's steel, it's glory, and it's advanced! Truly shall a golden age befall us.

(Bonus! Dept. 13, Monster Hunters, Mini-Game #68 was just released as well. Now you can be advanced and have a new game to boot.)

-- Fox Barrett

August 4, 2008: Mini-Mag

Eight pages plus two bucks equals . . . 120?

Modern Dispatch (#120): Cyber-state Avatar Toolkit may be too much for my puny lizard brain to wrap itself around, but I'm certain you'll be able to hack it.

Which is a lucky literary coincidence, as this issue is all about hacking! Or decking, or slicing, or whatever the heck you wanna call it. "Computers" is all I'm tryin' to say.

-- Fox Barrett

August 3, 2008: Buy This PDF Or Die The Death Of A Thousand Cowards!

The Ninja Burger Honorable Employee Handbook is required reading for all Ninja Burger employees. You are not exempt from reading it! Any employee who is found to have not read this book shall face He Of the Nineteen Mouths Who Dwells Upon Sunless Ravine in hand-to-hand combat. You will lose that fight! Read this book!

Before reading the book, you must first purchase it. Any Ninja Burger employees who have not purchased this book will be made to endure the Trail of Extremely Incomprehensible Shouting until they purchase it! The book should be purchased from the e23 website, and can be paid for with a credit card or via the PayPal service. Do not attempt to pay for this book with the severed heads of your slain enemies!

Once you have purchased and read the book, you will be expected to be completely familiar with its contents at all times. Memorize the book! Ninja Burger employees who have not memorized the book will have their employment terminated . . . by a four-armed Amazonian Fellbear hopped up on methamphetamines!

-- Fox Barrett

August 2, 2008: Baron Munchausen, The

No adventurer so daring, no lover so dashing, no man so man as the great Baron Munchausen. When he spoke, the world itself would stop and listen as he told us of his impossible yet completely true journeys.

Think you can live up to the legend?

Here's your chance. The Extraordinary Adventures of Baron Munchausen is back in print (in a digital sort of way) for the first time in quite a long time and you'll only find it here at e23. Regale your friends with the story of the time you swam in an active volcano to save a fair dutchess from 40,000 rabid Belgians. Tell them about the time you freed the Martian slaves from the cheese mines on the Moon. Entertain them with the chilling tale of the Icy Underpants of Neptune. Just be sure to bring some fine wine. After all, we wouldn't want your story to be too hard to swallow, now would we?

-- Fox Barrett

August 1, 2008: Lights, Camera, Jump Out Of An Airplane

GURPS Action 1: Heroes is the first in a series of high-flying, explosion-dodging, face-punching, edge-of-your-seat, pulse-pounding, adjective-abusing, run-on-sentence-inspiring books designed to take all that silly realism and hurl it right into the sun. Get outta here, realism! I want people diving through glass windows, guns akimbo, filling the room with lead and dead bodies! I want pitched sword fights atop New York skyscrapers in the middle of a thunderstorm! I want guys on motorcycles sliding under semis and jumping over guys with rocket launchers!

This first coalition of words covers the men and women of action that fill this adrenaline soaked world. It offers advice on how to build these unstoppable killing machines (tip: if you're not taking Combat Reflexes, you're in the wrong genre), provides some guidelines for gear, and talks about the best kind of skills: ones with exclamation points after them!

So get your copy today and make them pay for what they did to your family. Or track down those terrorists before they nuke the city. Or swipe that cool 30 mil' from the bank vault. Or . . .

-- Fox Barrett

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