e23 News Archive: June 2009

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June 30, 2009: So Excited, Just Can't Hide It

Every time I think about pulp gaming, I want to pull out my big box of exclamation points, load them into a cannon, and just fire it at the screen. To me, that's what pulp is: exclamation points. Any genre that not only allows the chasing of archaelogists by giant boulders, but in fact actively encourages such behavior, well . . . I don't think a lone exclamation point will cut the mustard.

Therefore, if you're looking to make your Hero games not just exciting but "exciting!," and want to not just have adventures but have "adventures!," then Pulp Hero is where you should point your zeppelin.

Sorry. Zepplin!

-- Fox Barrett

June 29, 2009: I Also Love Hitting Things

Yesterday's news aside . . . yeah, okay, punching stuff is pretty dang fun. So, as a counter point to those black monks, here's some monks that enjoy the occasional boot to the head.

Burning Shaolin has two ways to play. You can bust out the polys and, using the included rules for mooks, hack n' slash your way through legions of bad guys. Or you can skip most of that and just start beating people from the word go with Feng Shui. Both are good. Both have their draws. And ultimately, both lead to the same thing.

The always satisfying sound of evildoers hitting the floor.

June 28, 2009: I Do Love Words

Need your d20 only leave the bag when there are creatures to slay? Nay, I say to you, sir! Nay, for there are other uses to be found with this popular polyhedral. There's more to the playing of roles than simply base violence. Though true, the visceral thrill of laying low your enemies upon the field of battle is intoxicating, there is a curious satisfaction to be found in a more subtle approach.

Y'know, like, talkin' and stuff.

The Black Monks of Glastonbury is an adventure, and it's built to utilize both Ars Magica rules and a certain popular set of rules that involve twenty-sided dice. And sure, you could use it as a fun little outing for your Hermes-ian fellows in Ars Magica. Ooooooor . . . you could open up a world of superterranean experiences for your dungeony & dragoney fellows.

-- Fox Barrett

June 27, 2009: We Have The Champions, My Friend

And we'll keep on selling to the end! No time for losers, 'cause we have the Champions . . . of the world! There's a small chance that didn't actually make much sense. That's a risk I'm willing to take.

So, Champions, huh? My horrifying tribute to the greatest rock and roll band of all time aside, Champions is here on e23 and it's waiting for you. Don't let that black & white interior fool you, because this baby has all four colors you need to run a high-flying, fast-running, building-lifting, energy-beam-shooting, rise-from-the-dead-as-a-bad-guy-for-a-crossover-eventing, spandex-enjoying game to end all high-flying, fast-running, building-lifting, energy-beam-shooting, rise-from-the-dead-as-a-bad-guy-for-a-crossover-eventing, spandex-enjoying games.

Well, okay. I suppose owning a copy of the Hero System rules might help.

-- Fox Barrett

June 26, 2009: Leeeee-et's Get Ready To Rumbleicus!

Ah, Rome. With its sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, fresh water system, and public health, it was truly the paragon of the "classical" era. Oh, also? They put two dudes in a circle and made 'em fight each other to the death. Or fight lions. Or fight one another to the death, and then the winner gets to fight the lions.

Really, all told, the Romans knew how to have a good time.

And now, with GURPS Martial Arts: Gladiators, you too can experience the thrill and excitement of being captured by Roman invaders, forced into the Colosseum, and made to fight a guy with a net, a trident, and a really dumb looking helmet while all you have is a knife and your underpants. Enjoy!

-- Fox Barrett

June 25, 2009: Play God

Go ahead. I don't mind. Tamper with forces man has no business tampering with. Sure, They may condemn you They may say things like  "blasphemy" or "abomination" or "malfeasance." But I say that you shall have free reign in this place!

Okay, that might not say "malfeasance," but I have a thesaurus, and dagnabbit I want to use the thing.

Anyway, the point is this: The Creature Crafter is a system-neutral guide to building things for adventurers to fight. Monstrousy things. Things that go "slortch" in the night. Pick up a copy and start screaming "it's alive!"

-- Fox Barrett

June 24, 2009: All-You-Can-Stab Buffet

Monsters! That's what Fantasy Bundle II has got. It's filled with 'em. Brimming. Infested. You, as the duly-appointed Kill Master, must take up arms and liberate these grotesqueries of their vital organs. Those of them that have organs, anyway . . .

See, this set is all about variety. Goblins and lizardmen are here, sure. But there's also a skeleton or two. Couple dragon-riders. Heck, even some dwarves. (Dwarves aren't technically monsters, I suppose, but that doesn't mean they aren't dangerous. Just one look at the beards tells me all I need to know about not messing with those guys.)

Oh, and I'm pretty sure there's some dark elves, but I guess that's kind of a given. I think there's a contractual obligation or something to always have at least a few of 'em running around.

June 23, 2009: The Only Book You'll Ever Need, Really

A little inspiration, sometimes, is all it takes to tip a lackluster campaign over into the Pot of Really Interesting Stuff is Happening. But where do you go to find that inspiration? What do you seek? How do you find it? What do you do?!

You read Lore: Forgotten Mythos, that's what.

No, you don't go somewhere else. Hey! Get back here! This is just the ticket for a sagging campaign. It's full of . . . inspiring . . . y'know, stuff! Sure, it's, um . . . pretty much entirely about Ave Molech, but that's really more your problem than the book's. See, you really should be playing Ave Molech. (And if you really don't know what Ave Molech is, well, there's a free book right over here that'll tell you all about it.)

-- Fox Barrett

June 22, 2009: The Really Hard Sell

You! Worthless sack of organs pushed into a human shape! You are unworthy of the true ninja way! You do not know the honor of the ninja! Ninja spend every waking moment of every day either killing something, preventing something from killing them, or killing one another because there's nothing to kill and nothing dares try to kill them! They are never bored!

But you, feeble non-ninja human thing, become "bored!" You lose interest in things! You live a life that is not constantly under threat by invisible fire gargoyles that spit acid! You do not appreciate what it must be like to fight thirty ancient Sumerian vampires as you fall from a 100-story building! Ninja do not understand this life of yours, but that does not mean the ninja are without sympathy. And so, Ninja-To Go: A Ninja Burger Bored Game is presented to your to alleviate your boredom.

Do not disrespect the ninja's sympathy! Play this game or die like a honorless dog!

June 21, 2009: Are You A Good Hellbeast Or A Bad Hellbeast?

As you might guess from the title, some of the critters in Malevolent and Benign are naughty. Some are nice.

Some are "amorphous blobs that often assume a sort of pseudo-bipedal form roughly 5 feet tall."

I . . . don't know if it falls on the "malevolent" side of the fence or the "benign" side, but . . . I'm not sticking around to find out. You, though? You have fun.

June 20, 2009: Now There's A Funny Word

Usurp. It doesn't really sound like what it is. It sounds like it means "eating a bowl of soup." I usurped a can of chicken noodle soup. Maybe it's all those U's in there, I da'know.

Road to Revolution: The Usurpers isn't about soup in the slightest. It's part of a campaign arc about a revolution, and the road your characters will have to take to get there. Considering what usurp actually does mean, I suspect this one is pretty important. Can't really have a good overthrowing without an usurper or two, right? Otherwise, it's just a lot of scowling and rude language.

Come to think of it, "usurp" is a pretty rude-looking word. I guess this is why we called it "The American Revolution" and not "The American Usurpation of English Rule." Man, "usurpation." Almost sounds like a medical condition. Okay, yeah, I better end this bit here before things take a turn for the worse.

June 19, 2009: Oh, Look. I've Gone Crazy. (Also: Pyramid 8 Is Out!)

Oh, Pyramid. You're getting so predictable! Every month, for the last seven months, you've arrived on our digital doorstep. This month? No different. Here you are, right on schedule with Pyramid #3/8: Cliffhangers. Where's the surprise in our relationship gone? Where's the spice? The spontaneity?

"Inside my pages," you say? "Into my articles, advice, and adventures," you say? "How am I talking, I'm just a magazine," you say?

Why, Pyramid, you really are keeping this relationship fresh! I love you Pyramid!

June 18, 2009: C'mon, Y'all, Give Me A Little Scroll Lovin'

(That is totally an homage to homestarrunner.com up there, and most certainly not blatant theft of their joke. Totally.)

If you like games, and you love magazines, you'll like and love this game magazine! It's The Sorcerer's Scrolls Issue 43! Packed with tidbits of gamery from all over the gaming landscape, only one thing could ever possibly be its successor.

The Sorcerer's Scrolls Issue 44! Hey wait a second . . . we seem to have both! Truly, this is a frabjous day.

June 17, 2009: Best Policy, Really

Gonna be honest with ya, folks. Every so often a title comes along and I, upon reading, no longer care what's inside. The reason for this perfunctory judgment is that certain combinations of words flip a mental switch that tells me "I need know nothing more about this product, because the title is so awesome." A title like Hang-Gliding Zombie Salesmen From Fireland, for example, would tell me that the book is great without even cracking the thing open.

And so it is with Wicked Fantasy Factory #4: A Fistful of Zinjas. Don't know, exactly, what's inside. Don't much care. It's a canned adventure, I suppose, but that's not important. What's important is that the title is A Fistful of Zinjas.

Goodman deserves my 8 dollars for the title alone. The included adventure is just gravy.

June 16, 2009: Like Elves, But Darker

The guys you'll find in Paper Miniatures: Dark Elves II are not your standard elven fare. See, they're darker than normal elves. Not, like, in shadow, but rather their skin is black. Like, really really black.

Not the sort of black where you're all like, "Barak Obama is the first black president of the United States." More like "it's pitch black, turn on the lights before I am eaten by a grue."

Hm. Better stock up on toner . . .

June 15, 2009: Hero Games. Yes, That Hero Games.

Every so often, I get to one of those sorts of news pieces where I have to start it with "we are pleased to announce." And it's usually true. It's certainly true in this case. It pleases me to offer up these products from Hero Games to you guys.

But, ugh, it sounds so cliche. "We would like to welcome" isn't much better. And I don't want to be lame. This is Hero Games, we're talking about! The guys what made that there Hero System thingie! It's like GURPS for people who don't play GURPS. It's the quintessential superhero gaming system. It's got freakin' Champions, for cryin' out loud. Champions!

So I daren't fall back on "joins our family of blah blah blah." They deserve better than that. Hero Games is here on e23, folks. That's not good news, that's great news. Now, we haven't gotten everything online just yet, but keep checking back. Hero has, oh . . . a few products out there, and it'll take a little while to get them all up for sale.

-- Fox Barrett

June 14, 2009: Terror! Mad! Chambers!

Dungeon of Terror #3: Mad Mage Chambers (East) sounds so exciting! All those exciting adjectives and nouns in there are just so . . . well, exciting-sounding!

If it was "Place of Things #3: Beige Walls," I wouldn't be interested in the slightest. I'd be all like "ho-hum, what a boring place. Why don't they include a mage or something? And this could really use some chambers." But that is not the case!

Now that's just darned smart marketing, right there. I'm gonna go enjoy all this exciting excitement right now!

June 13, 2009: Blatant Lies

I'm no zoologist, but that doesn't mean I can't tell you about lizards, like those featured in Paper Miniatures: Lizardmen Set!

Lizards are type of creature known as "inverse-mammals." They are born from eggs that their females plant on the moon. Fertilized by solar radiation, the eggs grow to two meters in diameter before falling to the Earth. All lizards are born with an impeccable fashion sense, but they wear no clothing because such practice is considered taboo by their primitive culture. Shortly after hatching, they are driven by an instinctive urge to fashion crude spears from trees, stones, and human children. All lizards worship Tongue-Mad, the crazed god of lizards who rules over all lizard kind from his Great Habitrail.

Lizards do not eat, but rather derive energy from the shrill screams of humans who flee their presence. As they have no concept of family, they tend to form into communities with fellow lizards that will not immediatly kill them on sight. The average lifespan of a lizard is 6.7 "lizard years." Scientists have no idea how long a lizard year is, and neither do most lizards.

-- Fox Barrett

June 12, 2009: A Journey Of Many Miles

Once upon a time, there was a GURPS book about Lois McMaster Bujold's Miles Vorkosigan, and all the wacky science-fictiony stuff that happened to him. (And his friends and family.) Then we decided it would be a swell idea to release a new edition of GURPS. Then there were some problems with layout. And art. And editing. And art again. And then the locusts attacked. And then the author turned out to be a robot double. And then the earth opened up and swallowed our building. And then . . .

. . . It just sorta goes on like that for a few years.  But we persevered! We pushed forward. We surmounted insurmountables. The fans were very patient. Bujold was very very patient. Now that the dust has settled, we can finally present the Vorkosigan Saga Sourcebook and Roleplaying Game! Built upon the shattered souls of a thousand staffers in the production department, this tome is easily the most complete GURPS book we've done yet. There's a full treatment on the Vorkosigan universe, a specially adapted version of GURPS Lite, all the rules you need to build spaceships, all the rules you need to shoot at spaceships, and, well . . . just a lot of stuff!

One-stop-shopping for rules, and the complete A-to-Z for Miles and friends? This may have been a long time coming, but I think I can safely say we have something to show for it. Enjoy, folks!

-- Fox Barrett

June 11, 2009: You May Suck, But Your House Doesn't Have To!

Sunlight got you down? Pesky teens with preternatural strength accosting your home? Need a second hideaway to escape the political hustle and bustle of New Orleans?

May I present, for your damned domicile consideration, Battlemaps Lairs: Vampire's Inner Crypt! This three tomb/no bath crypt is designed to invoke maximum awe in any victims you might bring back to it. The master tomb is quite spacious, with four torches preinstalled for your convenience. The two smaller tombs are perfect for guests or vampires just starting out with minions. The central chamber features an old-world style dais that can be used for . . . all sorts of dais-type things!

No, there's no central heating, but the walls are specially designed to echo with the screams of your victims. And if you're looking to buy sometime soon, we're currently running a limited-time special offer on painting cryptic symbols on the floor!

-- Fox Barrett

June 10, 2009: But Really, It's More About How You Use It.

Paper Miniatures: Dwarves II. These are dwarf miniatures. That means thay they're miniaturized representations of mini-people. There's a kind of recursion, there. I'd never really thought about it before. We've shrunk people who are, by their very nature, pre-shrunk.

Seems almost needless redundant. But what can you do, really? Sure, I suppose you could print them at 200%, but that would throw off the scale of your game. Unless . . .

I think it's time I spiced up my fantasy campaign with a visit from the Giant Dwarves.

June 9, 2009: If You Prick Us, Do We Not Smash Your Face?

When you think "orc," you think bloodthirsty, barbaric, evil, angry, stupid, and severely under-hygiened. They're orcs, quintessential cannon fodder for all fantasy gaming, as was layed down by the Great Old One known (in the mortal tongue) as Tolkien. They don't need subtle characterization. We do not require of them a complex and fascinating culture. There is no call for orc anthropology. Put simply: orcs is fer stabbin'.

Why is there a book like Monstercology: Orcs, then?

Because how awesome would it be to have your party rush an orc, only to have him shout "wait, I just want to share some of my tribe's traditional folk dances!"

-- Fox Barrett

June 8, 2009: Designer's Note: GURPS Psionic Powers

With GURPS Psionic Powers getting a POD release, I thought I'd share what my goals were when I set out to create it.

I envisioned a straightforward collection of abilities that made choosing psi as easy as picking out spells. "I'll take Cure 3 and Disease Shield 5 from Psychic Healing, and Telescan 2 from Telepathy. Done!" I stole the power groups from Pulver's GURPS Psionics to keep things familiar (and because it was a great way to conceptualize psi).

I also wanted to inject flavor back into GURPS Fourth Edition psi. Psi should use skills -- to represent training, but also so skilled users can bend the rules. Psi Techniques help accomplish the latter, adding enhancements on the fly. One whole chapter is devoted to a unified psionic system, adding both benefits (yes, the Vulcan Mind Meld thingee gives a telepathy bonus) and drawbacks (critical failures can blow out your psi) that fit the concept of "psychic abilities."

There were other goals ("Make almost everything leveled," "Clarify some rules questions," "Add tons of perks," etc.), though the two above were key. Did I accomplish them? Most readers seem to think so, but check it out yourself and let me know on the forums!

-- Rev. Jason "P.K." Levine

June 7, 2009: They Should Just Get A Key Hook

I lost my keys once. They were picked up by a mutant sewer rat. I had to venture into his domain to retrieve them. There I met Borlok the Ungainly, Sylvan Shimmerleaf, and a mysterious sorceress known only as "The She". Together, we were a motley but formidable band of heroes who plumed the depths of The Seven-Eyed Rat King's domain.

Eventually, I got my keys back. Which was good, because I kinda couldn't get into my car without them. To this day, when it's quiet, I still hear Borlok's mighty battle cry of "hurrrgraaafffluaaaghh" on the winds . . . I miss him as I would miss a brother. A brother who drools excessively, I suppose, and finds a complex concept like "pants" beyond his mental capacity, but a brother nonetheless.

Why do I bring this up? Oh. Just looking at Advanced Adventures #10: The Lost Keys of Solitude and thinking about all the trouble a decent key hook on the wall can save you.

-- Fox Barrett

June 6, 2009: Where Every Party Is A Toga Party

Step aside, serving-wench-and-mysterious-stranger-filled inn! Move over, dive on the wrong side of town that's poorly lit and has the music up way too high! There's a new game in town, and its name is Roman Taverns.

Now you have a place for your off-duty centurions to meet up and plan their excursion into the Horrible Cave of Deadly Death to retrieve Bacchus' Goblet of Having a Really Good Time. Or perhaps they need some place to relax after defeating the nigh-endless hordes of German orcs. Or whatever the heck ancient Romans did.

Yeah, I guess there was that whole "control basically all of Europe" thing, but what kind of adventure would that make? . . . Actually, that might be kinda cool.

June 5, 2009: You See What I Did There?

So I heard you like Transhuman Space?

Ceiling Cat is watching you debate over whether or not you need more characters for your Transhuman Space game. Well, since I want to sell over 9000 copies of this book, I say you do. So do a barrel roll over to Transhuman Space: Personnel Files 2 - The Meme Team. Once we get through a-chargin' your credit, this file will be in your computer, killin' your boredom. Trust me, it will be epic. (Unless you try to use the book to divide by zero, in which case you're doing it wrong.)

Trust me, awesome book is awesome.

June 4, 2009: No Girls In Our Fort!

Sorry ladies, this is Dungeon of Terror #2: Assassins' Brotherhood. You'll be wanting the Sisterhood of Grievious Bodily Harm. They're down the hall.

Unless you're here to raid the Brotherhood. In which case, go right ahead. For just two dollar bills, we'll gladly even sell you a map of the place.

Unless you're actually members of the Brotherhood in disguise trying to see if I would sell a map of your hidden sanctum. In which case, I totally will not sell you the map. Seriously. Please put down the knife. Please?

-- Fox Barrett

June 3, 2009: Vast Axe-Spanse Of Gaming Goodness

Well, I already used the "axe-spansion" joke in an earlier ad, so I had to go with my B-side. I wouldn't want to repeat myself, now would I?

If you've picked up Battle Axe then it might interest you to know that, shortly after its release, Bad Baby set loose a big gob of expansion sets for it. Stuff like the Elven Outrider and Goblin Raider. You can get the whole list here.

If you haven't picked up Battle Axe . . . Uh . . . I didn't plan for that contingency.

June 2, 2009: Easily Swayed

Maelstrom, as some of your grognards might remember, is an old RPG from the 80's about the adventures one can have in 16th-century England. The Paper Miniatures: Maelstrom Set is designed with this classic game in mind, but what if you don't play Maelstrom?

Well, then you can't have any! Hands off, you. These have been specifically branded and are not to be used irresponsibly by any gamer-come-lately that happens along.

What's that? You have money? Oh, well, why didn't you say so! Please, enjoy these fine Paper Miniatures!

June 1, 2009: Book: Judged By Cover

Somebody gave a deer a gun?! That's terribly irresponsible! They're stone cold killers. Ever looked one in the eye? Solid. Black.

I'm not sure what (Savaged) Buckshots: Johnny Comes Marching Home is about (because I prefer to go off half-cocked rather than actually observe my surroundings), but this is probably one of the most terrifying experiences your gaming group will ever have! Johnny, far from home, being shot at by well-armed wildlife, marching through the danger despite the terrible odds he faces.

. . . and if that's not what this book is about, I think I have a spec script to write.

-- Fox Barrett

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