e23 News

e23: It Came From The Hamster Wheel!

Run! Flee! Depart this location with great haste! It's, it's . . . aiyeeee! A hamster!

Okay, so we've got this game called The Hamster That Ate The World, Mini-Game #7. It's a wargame wherein one is either a giant hamster stomping about town or the pitiful human army sent to stop him from doing that.

Yes, really. I'd tell you more about it, but, man, I've gotta go play this one right now. It's just too darn weird not to.

-- Fox Barrett

e23: Shiny . . .

Crystalmancer is the card game of mighty wizards and the terrible magics their pet rocks produce. Well, maybe not exactly, but you know how wizards are. Accrue power, accrue power, accrue power, blow something up, giggle about it, and then start all over again.

And that's more or less what the game is.

Which . . . really, I mean, how much more do you honestly need in life, am I right?

-- Fox Barrett

e23: Come On, Baby, Light My Fire

Dragons! They pretty much do two things: sleep on piles of gold (comfy!) and set fire to people. As I'm certain you are not a dragon (not that I can see you, but we do have a surveillance team on site), I can surmise that you do not sleep on piles of gold (aw!) and that you are regularly set on fire.

Ouch.

You need Dragon Wars, Mini-Game #3. It will turn the tables on the crummy hand fate has dealt you. Or, at the very least, it'll let you simulate what it would be like to be on the scaly end of the food chain. And hey, this is a PDF! If your components get burned up next time a dragon lights you on fire, you can just print more!

-- Fox Barrett

e23: Armor, Battling, And The Face

Battle Armor is about shooting one another in the face. It says so right there in the name. "Battle." Also, "Armor," but that's more ambiguous. That could mean, like, "Peace Armor" or something. But "Battle?" No sir, no wiggle room there. You don't have "Battle Peace." You have "Battle Battle." Maybe "Battle Fight" or "Battle Scuffle."

Shooting. In the face. While wearing armor. Sounds like the perfect game to me!

-- Fox Barrett

e23: Fly Me To The Moon

And step on it!

Getting from point A to point B is sometimes more than just a means to an end. Sometimes, it itself is the end. Like, say, if you were a freighter captain with with a big list of people wanting to book passage. Who are they? Where are they going? Who cares! The important question is "how much are they paying."

Well, that, and "what the heck will I fly them there in?" And that brings us to GURPS Spaceships 2: Traders, Liners, and Transports (he said, concluding his shoddy and hastily-constructed lead-in). This companion volume to (surprise!) GURPS Spaceships presents you with all sorts of tin cans to stuff with people and cargo.

We've got yachts, shuttles, couriers, and . . . some ships we're fairly certain are space worthy. I mean . . . you made your passengers sign a waiver, right?

-- Fox Barrett

e23: What You Need And What I Need

Do you need handful of high-resolution images of evil-looking bad guy people? What am I saying; of course you do! I'm such an idiot! Stupid, stupid, stupid! I shall go put my head in a combine.

Oh, but first: Pozas Art Pack Fantasy vol. 8 - Foes has those pictures you wanted. Enjoy!

-- Fox Barrett

e23: Yes, We Have No Website

If you're reading this, you've managed to sneak onto the website. Aren't you just a lil' net ninja!

Both e23 and Warehouse 23 are due for some maintenance (something about hammers and monkeys and some guy with a pipe named Bob; I'm not really up on the specifics). Since our IT department doesn't want to be electrocuted while they work, we've decided it would be best to unplug the magic box that lets you access this site. We expect to be down all day, but should be back in the game again by Friday.

And we'll be armed with a whole mess of shiny new fnords!

-- Fox Barrett

e23: And For That Matter, Where Are The Bathrooms?

Stab the orc, take the loot, stab the kobold, take the loot, stab the dragon, run away grabbing as much loot as you can, and return to town. Sell. Sell. Sell. After you've stimulated the ever-loving heck out of the local economy, repeat.

Wait. "Economy?" Wossat? Hmmm. According to A Magical Medieval Society: Western Europe, Second Edition, it's really important. In fact, there's all kinds of useful stuff in here. Information on town defenses, how vassalage works, medieval demographics, costs and labor involved in building all kinds of junk, and - ooooo! - war!

See? Who says realism and historical accuracy has to be boring?

-- Fox Barrett

e23: And Just A Dash Of Graveyard . . .

Graveyard Dash, Mini-Game #1 is a game about the walking dead and the running alive.

. . . Y'know, reading that, you wouldn't think there'd be much a competition there. Unless they suddenly become the "sprinting dead" or, heck, even just the "jogging dead," they don't exactly pose a threat to someone at a dead run. But . . . there ya go.

Oh, hey, I just noticed I made a pun. Heh, neat! Anyway - game's got zombies, games got people who are not (yet) zombies, all that's missing is you. Make us and Bad Baby happy and go amend that.

-- Fox Barrett

Notice: The Warehouse 23 and e23 websites and stores will be closed this Thursday, May 8th for site maintenance. The stores will reopen on Friday, May 9th. If you need to contact customer service for those stores on Thursday, please do so by email, orders@sjgames.com or by phone, (866) 366-7323.

e23: Who's The BOS?

Gaming is all about three things: location, location, location. (Also stabbing.) If you don't know where you are, it's a safe bet you don't know what you're doing. You won't be able to figure out where you were, you certainly won't be able to figure out where you're going - really, it'll just be one big mess.

But fret not, for you and your evil-stabbing cohorts are not without salvation. NBOS Software has joined the e23 cyberfamily and brought with it a dowry of map-building wonder. If you need to define the borders of the mighty kingdom of Heroland or sketch out a quick 10 by 10 orc dwelling, Fractal Mapper 8 is on the scene and ready to go. We've even got Symbol Pack 1: Campaign World if you find yourself short the 275 tiles that would make your map just perfect.

Terrestrial topography not really your style? Need something more cosmic? Count ye out NBOS not, good sir! (Wait . . . does that even work? Whatever, I'm not gonna diagram it.) AstroSynthesis 2 makes sure you never get lost in space, as mapping the stars is its raison d'être.

Yes, these programs are so awesome, they got me to say "raison d'être." Consider that a moment, and then proceed quickly to the order page.

-- Fox Barrett